Wishing time away

Lately,I feel as though I’m wishing time away. And I hate that I’m doing that. I hate it for so many reasons, but mostly because time is fleeting and every moment is so precious. I don’t think anyone fully realizes this until they have kids, and then, maybe there are some with kids who never really fully understand this precious commodity.

Yet, even though I fully realize how quickly time goes by, here I am wishing it away. Perhaps it’s because today is the first day of spring, yet the 12 inches of snow dumped upon us yesterday makes it feel much more like the dead of winter. Perhaps it’s because I’m in the third trimester of my pregnancy, and I just can’t wait to meet my new little one growing in my belly. Perhaps it’s because I fear going into early labor and I really want to have this baby on or as close to my due date as possible – April 17 – but everyone who looks at me keeps telling me there’s no way I’ll ever make it that far.

Which leads me to another topic, since when is it ok to comment on the size of a pregnant woman? Two complete strangers in church on Sunday didn’t have any problems sharing their two cents. One told me I looked like I could “go” at any minute; the other asked if I was having twins.

Yes, my stomach is huge. But haven’t people seen a pregnant woman before? There’s a full sized baby inside there during the third trimester. Where do they expect it to go? And ladies and gentlemen, I’m rather petite. I stand only 5’3” tall. And that’s on a good day (think cute shoe with a little heel).  But this constant discussion about the size of my tummy has me paranoid. I still have quite a few things to do before number two arrives. And, ladies and gentlemen, I was eight days late with my daughter. Eight LONG days.  Going early is just unfathomable.

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So for these reasons, I keep wishing away time. I just want it to be April so badly: nice weather (one can hope) and the month I meet my new baby. But I’ve really got to stop all this wishing away of time because I know I’ll regret it. Despite the winter doldrums and the exhausting nature of the third trimester, I need to remember to stop and appreciate all that is in front of me, messy house and all! Before I know it, my life is going to be turned upside down once again when the newest love of my life makes his or her grand entrance, reminding me again of God’s greatness and fulfilling my childhood dreams – motherhood. 

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