Wishing time away

March 20, 2013

Lately,I feel as though I’m wishing time away. And I hate that I’m doing that. I hate it for so many reasons, but mostly because time is fleeting and every moment is so precious. I don’t think anyone fully realizes this until they have kids, and then, maybe there are some with kids who never really fully understand this precious commodity.

Yet, even though I fully realize how quickly time goes by, here I am wishing it away. Perhaps it’s because today is the first day of spring, yet the 12 inches of snow dumped upon us yesterday makes it feel much more like the dead of winter. Perhaps it’s because I’m in the third trimester of my pregnancy, and I just can’t wait to meet my new little one growing in my belly. Perhaps it’s because I fear going into early labor and I really want to have this baby on or as close to my due date as possible – April 17 – but everyone who looks at me keeps telling me there’s no way I’ll ever make it that far.

Which leads me to another topic, since when is it ok to comment on the size of a pregnant woman? Two complete strangers in church on Sunday didn’t have any problems sharing their two cents. One told me I looked like I could “go” at any minute; the other asked if I was having twins.

Yes, my stomach is huge. But haven’t people seen a pregnant woman before? There’s a full sized baby inside there during the third trimester. Where do they expect it to go? And ladies and gentlemen, I’m rather petite. I stand only 5’3” tall. And that’s on a good day (think cute shoe with a little heel).  But this constant discussion about the size of my tummy has me paranoid. I still have quite a few things to do before number two arrives. And, ladies and gentlemen, I was eight days late with my daughter. Eight LONG days.  Going early is just unfathomable.

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So for these reasons, I keep wishing away time. I just want it to be April so badly: nice weather (one can hope) and the month I meet my new baby. But I’ve really got to stop all this wishing away of time because I know I’ll regret it. Despite the winter doldrums and the exhausting nature of the third trimester, I need to remember to stop and appreciate all that is in front of me, messy house and all! Before I know it, my life is going to be turned upside down once again when the newest love of my life makes his or her grand entrance, reminding me again of God’s greatness and fulfilling my childhood dreams – motherhood. 

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Silly grinning

March 16, 2013

During tonight’s bedtime routine, I found myself drifting to some fun memories of the past day: namely my niece’s third birthday party. It was a fun time. As we were leaving, my 2 ½ year-old daughter said, “I had a lot of fun today playing dress-up, daddy,” as my husband zippered up her coat to head to the car. Her statement was said in her adorable 2-year-old voice, but the simplicity of it struck me; It didn’t take much to make her happy – put out some fun dress-up clothes, add a little frosting to her diet, and it was a day heaven-sent for a toddler.

I must have had quite the goofy grin on my face as I drifted from my reverie to the present when my daughter looked at me and said, “What are you doing, mommy?”  I looked at her and she mimicked the same goofy grin I had on my face.

“Just thinking about you,” I said to her. “You make me happy.”

She giggled, and then finished reading her book, “10 Little Ladybugs,” which she has memorized along with many of her other books.

While our bedtime routine is far from perfect – we deal with delay upon delay, requests for “one more book, please mommy,” and trips to and from the potty – I couldn’t help but think that this is what it’s all about. These simple moments, mundane moments even, that make life worth it. To watch your child, your own flesh and blood, the one who grew inside of you, develop and grow is truly awe-inspiring.

As a society, we struggle with happiness and fulfillment. Life is not easy. But stop and look through the eyes of a child – those simple things are what make us complete. IMG_5448