I must tell myself five thousand times a day that I need to write more. Yet, I never do it. I hate myself for it.
A year ago I started a blog about being a mom because I thought, ‘Why not? So many other mothers do it. Why not me? I have things to say. Plus, I can write.’
Yet, a year later, I look back on my blog to see I only ever wrote five measly posts. Well that’s going to change; I’m going to make it part of my Lenten mission.
OK. I know what you Catholics are thinking. Writing about yourself is, um, rather SELFish. That’s not the mission of Lent, nor does is embody characteristics of Jesus. And you might be right. But it’s going to be part of my Lenten mission (along with giving up chocolate (yet again, selfish; I know, I know.)).
See, I figure if God is holding me responsible, then I have to do it. Right? I want God on my side! Who doesn’t, really? I love God. I love Jesus. So, Jesus, thanks for helping me and holding me accountable. This isn’t blasphemy, is it? I’m going to pray more too. That’s also part of my Lenten mission.
Back to why I haven’t been writing…
I think fear is part of it. To truly connect to your readers, you have to establish trustworthiness. It’s the ethos part of the rhetorical triangle that I teach my students. But to be truly trustworthy, you’ve got to be honest, which means divulging information about myself. And that, my friends, is SCARY. When I started my blog last year, I never shared it with anyone. I was too afraid. But what is writing without an audience? This is not a diary. It’s a blog. So I must share. But I’m still scared because people, in general, are very judgmental. Heck, my job is to judge writing. Heck, I’m judgmental. (I know, I know. Another sin!)
I want to write a book. I tell my middle school students this all the time and they always tell me I should write a book about them. They’re right; I should. But that would require too many permission slips. So instead, I’m going to write about myself. Maybe some day this blog will be fodder for my book. On what? Me. Life. Really? I have no clue.
But thanks for reading. And please, don’t judge!